


Wayward Son

by luxshine



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Gen, Genderqueer!Raphael, Loki!Gabriel, Nice!Raphael
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2017-11-13
Packaged: 2018-09-06 03:05:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8732353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/luxshine/pseuds/luxshine
Summary: When God left heaven, he left Raphael charged with a secret about the Apocalypse. Now that Heaven and Hell are sure the final battle is coming in this generation, Raphael makes their personal mission to protect God's last secret, the Righteous Man.Unfortunately for them, Loki -secretly the archangel Gabriel- also has his eyes on the same mortal, and their actions led to a different path for the Apocalypse than what God had originaly planned.(Or that one fic where Gabriel and Raphael end up in charge of raising Dean)





	1. Keeper of Secrets

Politics in the host were complicated and that was something Raphael knew well. From the moment of creation Father had been clear that there had to be some information that was not shared to the whole host. Cherubs didn’t know all what Angels did. Seraphs had more information than Angels. Metatron knew more than anyone except for the Archangels. And, to Raphael eternal chagrin, the archangel of healing had been the lone recipient of Father’s last secret before he decided to take off for unknown parts.

Through eons, Raphael managed to keep the secret and their own sanity. When Gabriel left, angry over being ignored by the General of Heaven, Raphael kept their mouth shut. When some angels started to fall on purpose, angry at the apparent disdain from the de facto leader, Raphael didn’t betray their Father. However, when Zachariah started rumbling about the possibility of rushing the Apocalypse? Raphael started to doubt themself.

( _Much later, they would be berating themselves about it. If only they had spoken up earlier the whole mess could’ve been avoided._

 _At that point, Gabriel would also point out that if Raphael had spoken up and revealed Father’s biggest secret then Gabriel himself wouldn’t have gotten involved and they wouldn’t have reunited. Gabriel had always been a glass half full kind of archangel_ )

But time waited for no one, not even for archangels able to travel to the past and the future as they willed, and the time to speak up came and passed when one mortal woman woke up after a weird sound in the baby monitor she had next to her bed and found herself dying on the roof of her baby’s nursery not long after.

The moment when the Righteous Man became an orphan and the appointed guardian of his younger brother, the Abomination, and Raphael realized that someone in Hell was working ahead of schedule in the Apocalypse matter too.

 

*          *          *

 

Raphael was not versed in the art of War. They were not the strategist, as their main role in the host was to be the healer. The nurturer. Not the General.

Even then, they could have told every single angel and demon of the host that their current plan to rush the Apocalypse was not the best plan in the history of warfare. By forcing the Winchester family to go underground and become hunters they risked the children’s lives. The Abomination could not be killed before he freed Lucifer and was taken as Lucifer’s vessel. And while the Righteous Man had to go to Perdition at some point to break the first seal, he definitively couldn’t do so before he could legally drink in half of Earth! 

The Righteous Man being a hunter was not that big a departure of the plan. It wouldn’t even be the first time that particular soul had hunted supernatural creatures. But still… he was young. Too young. And the last Men of Letters’ legacy didn’t seem up to the task of taking care of not one, but two key elements for Father’s plan. 

And that was the reasoning Raphael used to convince themself that they had to check on the Righteous Man… Boy, really, from time to time. Just to make sure he hadn’t broken his neck, or eaten something poisonous when the Legacy wasn’t looking. And if sometimes Raphael took their vessel to walk in the same park where the Righteous Boy was waiting for his father, it was none of the Host’s business.

After all, someone had to make sure that the Righteous Boy was alive to fulfill his destiny, and not get gutted by a Wendigo or run over by a truck before his sixth birthday.

So when Raphael extended their awareness just to check on the Righteous Boy again and found him completely alone in a motel room, without the Abomination OR the Legacy around, or even one of the multiple babysitters that the Legacy hired constantly, Raphael decided they couldn’t remain silent. They had to act, and put the Fear of Father on the Legacy that refused to take care of his children properly.

 

*          *          *

 

At the same time that Raphael was suffering a small crisis of conscience about their decision to make sure that no harm came to the Righteous Man until it was time for his trip to Perdition, Loki was having a similar conflict.

For centuries, Loki had been a model Trickster, making sure humanity stayed on their toes. Sure, he tended to only punish those deserving and no pagan god had ever seen Loki actually eat a human heart but results were good enough that no one cared. Besides, Loki tended to attack those who questioned his actions too closely and no one wanted to deal with one of the few Pagans who had managed to keep his followers even as Christianity marched forward and was still at the peak of his powers.

Truth was, Loki had more than a few secrets. One of them was exactly how he managed to keep so many followers: he took care of the children. Any child who was left by their parents would get Loki’s personal protection.   Odin often wondered if that had been his fault, but Thor usually distracted him with a new battle before he could think about it too much.

And that had brought Dean Winchester to his attention.

Now, Loki was no  fool. He knew exactly who Dean Winchester was and why he was important in the big picture, and thus he knew that even if he seemed alone, there was probably someone pretty powerful making sure the kid survived to his adulthood.

( _That had to do with Loki’s OTHER secret, the one only Thor knew. But Loki didn’t like to think too much about that secret or the name the secret carried. Because he was afraid that if he did, maybe someone would listen to his thoughts._

 _If he was honest, he didn’t know if he was afraid that they would come looking, or that they wouldn’t care._ )

But he could feel Dean being alone. Not once or twice, but many times. Being ignored by his father, put in charge of caring for his younger brother, Sam. But mostly, Dean was alone and suffering for the death of his mother, Mary at the hands of a demon.

( _Not that Loki could get revenge for that. While he was far more powerful than any demon, he really wanted to fly below the radar of that particular fight._ )

And the funny thing was that while Dean pinged on his radar, Sam never did. Maybe it was because Sam had Dean, but if that were the case, Dean would have Sam. Instead, Dean’s crushing loneliness was calling to Loki’s protector nature. Hell, it was even calling to the instinct Loki had worked eons to hide.

So after a year and a half of feeling that loneliness, he realized that absolutely no one in the Angelic Host was paying attention to Dean. Which was absurd because Dean Winchester was probably the only human being the Host would give a damn for. And yet, Dean Winchester was alone, silently hugging himself in a dirty motel room in wherever the fuck, USA, while his baby brother was being taken care of somewhere and his father was out, probably hunting something with more teeth than sense.

Which meant that Loki couldn’t stand it anymore. He had to go down there and make sure that John Winchester learned a lesson or three about never abandoning children.

 

*          *          *

 

John Winchester considered himself a good man. Despite having been abandoned by his father when he was 10, he had been raised by a good woman. And of course, a great grandfather who taught him how to be a man.

He had done his duty for his country, fought in a war that many people swore was un-needed, and then came back to find love. Mary had been perfect. Thanks to her, John had been able to forget the nightmares of war. Think that he would be able to have a normal life again. He just needed to look into her beautiful green eyes, and everything made sense again. 

( _But then she died; burnt alive, like so many soldiers John had seen in the past. Her body charred and blackened almost beyond recognition. And John had been left alone with little Sammy and Dean. Dean, who looked so much like Mary that just looking at him made John’s heart lurch._

 _And to make matters worse, with her death, the world stopped making sense. There were psychics that could really read your mind, and werewolves, wendigos, vampires, ghosts and demons that killed innocent people all over the world. And thus, John had stared a new war, because he knew that if he could kill the demons, then his world would make sense again._ )

Dean was silently reading one of the few books that John had packed on his bed. John closed his eyes and tried to ignore the growing desire to shake his boy and demand he made a noise. Dean hadn’t said a word since Mary’s… incident and it was unnerving John. That was why they were alone now. Pastor Jim had insisted that John needed to try to connect with Dean before the damage was irreversible, and had offered to take care of Sam while John did that.

Except John didn’t know how to reach Dean. So instead of finding a place they could spend some time together, he had found a simple hunt. After all, he was at war. One didn’t get a vacation from a war.

Dean had to learn that too. The sooner the better, John figured. He couldn’t bond with his son, not when he reminded him so much of Mary. But he could talk to another soldier. And Dean was also a soldier in the war against the demons.

Before John could realize that what he was thinking was completely against everything he had always wanted for his children, someone knocked at the door. John got up, hid his gun and journal, and tried to look presentable. Dean didn’t even look up from his book.

“Who is it?” he asked, as he opened the door to find a severe looking dark skinned woman in a black suit. John gulped. He had been afraid of this.

“Hello, Mr. Winchester. I’ve come to talk to you about some concerns about your son.”

John cursed inwardly. They had been there one week. He had left Dean alone for two days; as he had had to check on his sources, make sure he was really hunting a ghoul. But he hadn’t expected any of the other tenants to make some fuzz about Dean. He hadn’t realized they knew he had a kid in the room at all. 

“Uh, come in,” He let the woman inside. While he could hand the hunt to one of Pastor Jim’s contacts, he wasn’t sure it would be a good idea to get CPS after him. After all, he had to protect Sammy too. If he ran now, they would chase him. But he could try to win some time. Get them off his back. 

The woman came in and immediately zeroed on Dean. To John’s surprise, Dean actually looked up to acknowledge the new person, before turning back to his reading. No smile, no sound. John was starting to believe that perhaps Dean had been permanently damaged in the fire. And if he had been, how was John supposed to take care of an injured soldier?

“He is six years old, isn’t he?” The woman asked. There was something in her tone that made it clear it was not really a question. Part of John wondered if he had been tracked since the moment he left Lawrence. If so, then maybe he had to start covering his tracks better. “Seems a bit thin for his age.”

John was about to answer when a second knock called his attention. He went to answer, still checking on the woman who was coldly studying Dean as if he was a especially curious specimen on a science lab. He figured all CPS agents looked at children that way. As if trying to decide where they fit in their spreadsheets.

There was a man there. Shorter than John, blonde and looking a bit out of place in a suit that looked somewhat big for him. Still, a bit nicer than the other woman the CPS had sent.

“John Winchester?” the man asked, grinning. “I’m here to talk to you about your son, Dean.”

“They sent two of you?” John frowned. He wasn’t sure how this worked. He knew he could try and talk around one agent, but two? Just exactly what did his file say? It was starting to look as if he was going to have to make a strategic decision soon. He hadn’t expected to need to go underground so soon.

“Two of…” the man trailed a bit confused, then looked inside the room to where the woman was sitting, still watching Dean. “Oh, yes. I’m Agent Laird, nice to meet you, and that’s Agent Eastman. I thought she was still looking for the room number.”

Eastman frowned at the comments, tilting her head as if confused. “It wasn’t hard to find… Laird.”

John nodded, letting Laird in. Part of him wanted to grab Dean and take him as far away as he could. But if he did that, the agents could ask for a warrant for his arrest. He wouldn’t be able to go back for Sammy. And he couldn’t just abandon Sammy.

Laird walked to Dean, who was now also frowning. John’s heart broke a little. Those two strangers had gotten more emotion out of his son than he had in the last year. Sure, Dean didn’t look happy, but at least it was not the blank, unchanging look that his son gave everything around him.

“Hey, kiddo,” Lair kneeled down in front of the bed, getting to eye level with Dean. John figured he was the one of the pair who was good with kids, leaving Eastman to worry about the parents. “How’re you hanging?”

Dean shrugged. Yet another small show of emotion that broke John’s heart a little. His son was reacting to strangers, in a way he hadn’t to his own father and brother in a year. 

Eastman got up, looking at Laird as if she couldn’t quite believe he was there, then looked at John.

“I… we’ve gotten reports that Dean spends hours alone while you go out.” The disapproval in her voice was palpable. “And it is obvious he is not socializing in the same way of other hu… children his age. There is no food in this room, and you have no fresh food or a way to prepare food in this room.”

“We’ve been having a hard year… the boy’s mom died last year and…” John began defending himself, trying to read between the lines of what Eastman was saying. How long had they been following him? Maybe one of the guys at the garage back in Lawrence had called them when John decided to leave town. They always got into everyone’s business.

“His name is Dean, not boy,” Laird spoke up, glaring at John. Yeah, he was the one who bonded with children. John was half expecting him to take out a lollipop from his pockets to try and bribe Dean. At least his boy was smart enough not to take candies from strangers. “He’s been non verbal for a while, and your answer was to ignore his needs?”

“I am not ignoring his needs!” John yelled, making Dean wince. Which was precisely the wrong thing to do as both agents were now glaring at John as if he was a cockroach that they wanted to step on. “I’m doing my best!”

“He is non-verbal, non-communicative, mal nourished, scared of raised voiced, and shows clear signs of mental trauma,” Agent Eastman got up from her chair, walking towards John. She was about a head smaller than him, but that didn’t make her less menacing. “If that is what you consider doing your best, I don’t want to imagine what you consider abuse!”

“I…” John looked between the two agents to Dean, who for a change was looking at him with an expression. Absolute fear. Dean was afraid of him.

“I have to say, Mr. Winchester, you’re one of the worst ‘loving’ parents I’ve had the displeasure to see in a while.” Laird added, still kneeling in front of Dean. As if he was ready to protect him…

From John.

They were right. He was being a terrible parent. He couldn’t look at his own son without resenting him and Dean sensed that. He didn’t have the patience or time to deal with the fact that Dean didn’t speak.

What was worse, Dean’s well being was not his priority. His priority was to hunt the son of a bitch that had killed Mary, and keep Sammy away from it since it was obviously Sammy the one that had been targeted that night.

Not Dean.

He could be a general to Dean, and a protector for Sam. But Dean needed a father, and John… John couldn’t be that parent. Not now. Not until he killed the demon that had killed Mary and the world made sense again.

“You are right,” he muttered, looking down. Because of that, he missed the shocked look on both agents. “I… I am not fit to take care of Dean. You should take him with you.”

“Mr. Winchester, we’re not looking to separate your…” Agent Eastman started to say, but John shook his head, interrupting her.

“Spare me the sales pitch. I know that you only want the best for him,” he looked up, straight into her eyes. “And even if you don’t believe me, so do I. And this is the best for him right now. Just… let me say goodbye.” 

Agent Laird got up, still suspicious, but they let him have some space as he went to Dean, and sat next to his son. His heart was breaking, but soldiers had to make sacrifices.

“Son… I… I need you to go with these people right now,” he said, trying to keep his voice even. Dean frowned and blinked, as if he couldn’t understand what he was saying. “It’s not going to be forever. I just need to do something, then… Then I ‘ll come back for you. It’s… It’s going to be like when Sammy stays with Pastor Jim. Just for a little while. “

Dean shook his head, and then, to John’s surprise, he hugged him tightly, tears coming down his cheeks. His son thought he was sending him away, and it broke John’s heart. But it was the best for Dean. John only needed to get his head straight, and then he could get his son back.

( _Unknown to him, that wouldn’t happen. Two hours later, John would stop at a roadside bar, where the kind bartender would listen to his sad story. Said bartender would not remember that story, as at the moment he was the vessel of a demon that in the future would be known to both his children as Meg, a henchwoman of the demon John was hunting._

 _Meg wouldn’t hurt John then. But she would make sure John didn’t remember that it had been his choice to let Dean go with CPS. Nor that he had promised to get him back. Instead, his memories would be completely scrambled, leaving only the paranoid soldier to take care of the future Boy king of Hell_ )

 

*          *          *

 

What in Father’s name had happened?

Raphael stood outside the room they had designated for Dean in the house that Loki had graciously loaned them, and tried to make sense of the day.

They had gone to speak with the Legacy. The plan had been to make him realize he was mistreating his son, make him stop. Make sure the Righteous Boy would have a Father who taught him the importance of protecting innocents.

Loki had been a surprise. Of course Raphael knew about the pagan trickster. Every member of the host had heard of the pagan whose power didn’t diminish and had a penchant for playing mean tricks on anyone who came close to him. But they couldn’t understand why Loki was interested in the Righteous Boy. It made no sense, as pagans didn’t even believe in Father’s apocalypse.

They thought the world would end when Odin fought an overgrown wolf, which was a very ridiculous prophecy, if Raphael had to be honest.

“He asleep?” Loki came up the stairs, interrupting Raphael’s meditation. The house had three stories, and had a small garden. It was three states away from where they had picked up the Righteous Man, but that had been just because Loki had been adamant that they would not spend a night in another hotel room. The pagan was very protective of children, for what Raphael had seen.

“Yes, by his own accord. I didn’t influence him,” Raphael said. “We need to talk.”

“I didn’t think you had made him sleep. I would’ve known if you had,” The trickster manifested a human treat, and started sucking on it. “So… what are you going to do?”

“What do you mean?” Raphael tilted his head, confused. Why did the pagan care?

“I mean, what are you going to do? Kid needs parents, and I know you are not going to just drop him with the first couple that prays for a child. You guys haven’t done that since… well, since ever.”

“The Legacy will regain custody of his son, he just needs time to realize his folly,” Raphael stated, sure of themself. They were the Healer of Heaven, and the defacto Leader of the Host while Father and the General were away. They didn’t self-doubt. “In the meantime, I will keep watch. Make sure the Righteous Man is safe.”

“Man, you are as boring as I… heard you were. They have names, you know? You could start using them.” Loki shook his head. “You can’t act like a Terminator around a traumatized boy.”

“You care a lot for this specific human boy,” Raphael noted. They were not used to talk to pagans. And, as far as they remembered, pagans ate hearts. 

“Yeah, well, I am the god of Stories. Who do you think listens to stories?”

“I thought you were the god of lies.”

“Nah, that’s your brother. The one you locked up,” Loki sneered. Apparently, Raphael had touched a sore spot. “Listen, if I thought I could get away with it, I’d be picking that boy, and taking him so far away that not even Death himself would be able to find him. But I know Dean Winchester is pretty important for you overgrown pigeons. So I am giving you a chance.”

“You are… threatening me?” Raphael frowned. No pagan had the power to fight a Cherub, much less an Archangel.

“I’m warning you. I have a lot of followers, thanks to a guy named Lee and another named Kirby. You don’t want to see how powerful I really am,” Loki finished his candy, and created another. “Take care of Dean. Make sure he’s happy, and safe. Or you will lose your ‘Righteous Man’ and any chance to start your stupid little family fight.”

Before Raphael could answer, Loki took his leave, disappearing in a cloud of golden smoke.

Pagans were too over dramatic, to Raphael’s taste.

And now alone, Raphael realized they were in trouble. Because now they were not only the sole keepers of Father’s greatest secret… they were also the one who had been handed Michael’s Sword.

 


	2. Beginning Parenthood (Or: Raphael should work on impulse decisions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now that they have the Righteous Boy to take care off, and John Winchester seems to have dropped off the face of Earth, Raphael has to make some decisions about how their life is going to work.
> 
> Also, Loki points out some mistakes in their strategy.

Raphael stood in the kitchen of the house where they were keeping the Righteous Boy and looked at the stove. They could do this. They were an Archangel, the oldest in the Host at the time and the one God had trusted with his secrets. They could do breakfast for a human child

 

They had been together for seven days. So far, they had gotten by just ordering food from the phone, as they had seen the Legacy do before. But then Loki had come over, to deliver one of the pizzas, and said that humans shouldn’t just eat pizza. As if the Pagan could speak, Raphael had been able to smell the sugar on his breath.

 

So Raphael was determined to prove that they were capable of taking care of a small human. Pancakes didn’t seem that complicated. The box had a list of ingredients, and instructions that humans could follow. Raphael was not going to be bested by humans.

 

They didn’t want to admit that they were using the pancakes as a distraction. Seven days wasn’t that long for the Host –well, Seven Earth days. Seven Heaven days were a lot longer, long enough to create a world- but for humans, it was a lot. It was about 1/52 of a rotation around the sun, and they didn’t have that many of those either.

 

Where was the Legacy? Why hadn’t he come to get his son back?

 

To add to Raphael’s worries, the Righteous Boy was still non-verbal. He would watch TV –and Raphael secretly thanked that Loki seemed to have added what humans called Cable, as it seemed to have more options- and read. But other than that, not a word. And the one time Raphael had tried to read his mind… there hadn’t been words either. Just images.

 

The Healer of the Host was not ready to admit they were at a loss… but they were close.

 

So, pancakes. Pancakes had to make things better. All human families on TV looked happy when eating pancakes.

 

If nothing else, Raphael was sure that if they made the pancakes correctly, Loki would poof himself to the table. And then they could discuss what was going on with the Righteous Boy.

 

Raphael didn’t want to admit it, but they were out of their depth.

 

*    *          *

 

Loki couldn’t believe his eyes.

 

Raphael was not only still trying to pretend he actually cared for the well being of Dean Winchester… he was making pancakes.

 

He wished he had a camera. Thor would never believe him it had happened otherwise. Sure, he could produce a Polaroid, but then he’d reveal he had been watching the whole time.

 

It was a testament to how focused Raphael was on the human kid that he hadn’t noticed YET.

 

Speaking of Dean, he seemed to be withdrawing even more, which was pretty much against the plan. Unlike Raphael, who seemed to have certain ethic regarding the matter, Loki had tried to read the kid’s mind more than once. And it had been chaotic. All images, with no words, which was not usual for humans at all. A devastating landscape where Dean was all-alone. Abandoned by everyone.

 

It was heartbreaking.

 

Especially because Loki knew that Raphael’s current focus wouldn’t last. The Archangel would leave once they decided that things were well enough, not when John Winchester got his head out of his ass and came back to get his son, but when Raphael got bored.

 

Dean Winchester was doomed, and that didn’t sit well with Loki.

 

Everyone around him only saw the poor kid as a tool and he didn’t deserve that. So Loki needed to make Raphael see that. That the Righteous Man was more than just Michael’s Sword, the first lock to Lucifer’s Cage. Just as John Winchester –who was still hidden from Loki, to his unending puzzlement- had to see that his son was more than just a convenient babysitter for Sam.

 

Loki wasn’t sure how he was going to make both things happen.

 

And yet, Raphael was making pancakes.

 

But there was no maple syrup in the house. Well, Loki would have to solve that. Taste whatever the pigeon had managed to make, and then talk to him about Dean’s continuous wellbeing. They needed to make him verbal again.

 

*    *          *

 

The house smelled like pancakes.

 

Raphael counted it as a victory since both his targets had ended up coming down to the kitchen. Loki through the back door carrying at least a dozen bottles of different savored syrup – and Raphael was starting to get worried about the pagan’s intake of sugar- as if not to scare the Righteous Boy, and the Boy down the stairs once Loki put the syrup on the table.

 

The Righteous Boy had looked at the pancakes with mistrust, but apparently hunger won over.

 

Still, he wouldn’t talk. He bowed gracefully when he finished eating, attempted to wash his dish before Raphael could stop him, then ran back upstairs to his room.

 

“I find myself at a loss,” Raphael admitted to Loki when he heard the door close. “With all my wisdom, and knowledge of the healing arts, I do not know how to help this child.”

 

Loki looked at them as if they had grown a seventh face. As if they had just announced their desire to fall.   It took the pagan deity a moment to recover his usual smirk.

 

“Well, as much as I’d enjoy to see your feathers flustered trying to find the answer, the kid doesn’t deserve to suffer for your ignorance,” Loki said slowly. “He’s afraid he’s going to get abandoned by you, the same way he got abandoned by his father and his mother.”

 

Raphael frowned at the information.  It was true that they hadn’t planned to stay with the Righteous Boy for long, that they had expected the Legacy to come back and reclaim the child, but he was not going to abandon a child!

 

“I don’t…”

 

“Can it, pigeon,” Loki growled. “We both know that every day you leave for Heaven. You’re the General’s right hand, aren’t you? So you leave, and the kid is alone for hours a day. It’s a miracle he hasn’t run away yet.”

 

Raphael looked up at the ceiling. It was true. They could see that possible future. The day would come when The Righteous Boy would realize the Legacy wasn’t coming, and that Raphael left the house alone for long stretches of Earth time. It was a clear vision, the Righteous Boy packing what few possessions he had, and climbing out of the window. Raphael coming back to an empty house, calling Loki for help, but they couldn’t see if the Righteous Boy was found or not.

 

That was an unacceptable future.

 

“Stay here, I’ll be back soon,” Raphael said, and, not waiting for an answers, flew out to heaven.

*    *          *

 

The whole Host answered Raphael’s call. It was yet another sign that even as they tried to keep the illusion that they were not in charge, the lesser circles saw them as the leader in the apparent absence of Michael.

 

Well, Raphael thought, the angels had survived with only one archangel in the Host, they could survive this too.

 

“Father has communicated with me, and has commanded me a secret mission to be my priority until further notice,” they said, trying to ignore the chatter among the cherubs and the lower-tiered seraphim. “Because of this mission, I will be stationed in a secret location on Earth, hidden from all of you.”

 

There were murmurs of confusion, but no one spoke out loud. Of course they wouldn’t, since the only sign that the Apocalypse could be near was the birth of the Righteous Man and the Abomination… and they were still young.

 

“But sir… who will give us our missions?’ Naomi, a higher tier Serpah in charge of discipline asked. Of course she would ask, she had always been on point with protocol.

 

“Zachariah will be in charge until I return,” Raphael explained, looking at the Host. He didn’t need to look at Zachariah to know his feathers would be puffing up in pride. Father had once warned about pride in the host, but Raphael figured it would be a good test. “I trust you all will continue serving Father’s will as you have for now. “

 

Before anyone could complain, Raphael flew back to Earth, masking their grace so that no one could find them with the Righteous Boy.

 

It was only when they landed on the garden when they realized the enormity of what they had done.

 

* * *

 

“You quit.” Loki looked at the archangel, not believing what he was hearing. Raphael, Healer of the Host, Right Hand to Michael, the General of Heaven, couldn’t have just told the Host to stuff it where their Father’s Grace didn’t shine. “You… quit.”

 

“You already said that,” the archangel answered, sipping the cup of tea before them. “Are all pagan gods hard of hearing?”

 

“What?” Loki blinked, confused for a minute. Was Raphael making a joke? That couldn’t be, as archangels had no sense of humor. Thus, he had to be literal when he said what he said. “No! I mean… you quit your position in the Host to take care of a mortal kid?! Even if he is important, it doesn’t make any sense that you quit!”

 

“Lower your voice, Trickster,” Raphael scolded him, and boy did that bring back unpleasant memories for Loki. “I don’t want Dean Winchester to overhear us.”

 

“He won’t. I put us on the dome of silence, so he will only hear us listening to the radio. And I have an eye on him. He’s reading his school books, completely uninterested on the CPS agents that have his case.” Loki practically growled. He knew he had to go soon, or he’d end up making a mistake in front of the Archangel. He wasn’t sure he hadn’t made one yet.

 

“Dome of silence?” Raphael asked, looking confused.

 

“Means no one can hear us here,” Loki sat down, and grabbed his cup of hot chocolate, making it full to the brim again. “So, explain… what do you mean, you quit?”

 

“I don’t understand what is there to be explained,” the archangel answered, siting down at the table too. Unlike Loki, they hadn’t eaten at all during breakfast. It was obvious they weren’t good at playing human. “You were right when you said that the Righteous Boy deserves to have a good guardian that has his best interests in mind, and doesn’t disappear for lengths of time. I cannot trust that responsibility to any human, and since the Legacy seems to have decided he won’t fight for his child, I shall take that responsibility.”

 

“You don’t know anything about taking care of children, much less a human child,” Loki exploded, angry. He had sworn to himself that he would not let his emotions get the best of him, but this was a child’s life on the line. “Even if you are just planning to have him as a sacrificial lamb, he deserves better!”

 

Raphael frowned, and Loki gulped. He knew he could take a hit from the angel but he was not keen to explain why he could. And all the followers in the universe wouldn’t be enough to make that lie fly.

 

“Dean Winchester deserves a guardian who will take care of him and raise him right,” Raphael started; sounding like every single brainwashed angel in the host and that was too much for Loki.

 

“Raise him right?! For what? To be your sacrificial lamb? To rush into Hell and be tortured until an ancient prophecy is filled? That’s why you want to keep an eye on him?!”

 

Raphael rose from their chair, confused. “How do you know about that?”

 

“Doesn’t matter how I know. It’s true, isn’t it? You wanted John Winchester to raise a warrior… so he’d die for the Host.”

 

“You have no idea what you are talking about, pagan trickster,” And was it Loki’s imagination, or Raphael sounded tired? Which, granted, was much better than angry, but it made Loki wonder what the hell was going on with the host. Could it be that Raphael was also tired of being ignored by the great General? “Dean Winchester is to be a hunter, yes, but not to become a sacrificial lamb. He has to be raised to make his own choices, to be able to decide what is right or wrong by himself.”

 

“So… he has to be a hunter? He has no say in the matter?” Loki scoffed. “That doesn’t sound like much of a choice.”

 

And Raphael had the audacity of rolling their eyes at Loki.

 

“You are dumber than I thought, pagan trickster,” the archangel said in that tone that Loki had always hated. The ‘I’m older than you, and thus know better’ tone. “The Righteous Man will always be chased by the supernatural, and the Host is forbidden to protect him as if he was a Prophet. Do you wish for him to grow ignorant of the dangers? To be an easy prey of the many children of Eve that roam this plane undeterred?”

 

“No, but… just because he knows how to defend himself doesn’t mean he has to be a hunter!”

 

“Do you believe that the Righteous Man would just sit content knowing others are in danger?” Raphael asked, and Loki had to concede the Archangel had a point. Loki didn’t have much love for humanity, he had seen the worst of it during the years he’d been punishing those who angered him, but he knew that most people who found out about the supernatural weren’t able to turn their backs to it. “

 

“He still deserves a childhood. Even if you plan to throw him to the wolves as soon as he turns eighteen, he deserves a happy childhood.” Loki muttered, wondering for the tenth time that morning why he hadn’t just taken the child and run when he had the chance.

“And he will have one, that is why I decided to stay with him,” Raphael said and Loki knew that the archangel was serious.

 

If Loki didn’t know what Dean Winchester’s fate was, it would’ve been funny.

 

*     *     *

 

The woman was not leaving.

She said her name was Raphael, which was a strange name for a lady. But the short man, Loki, also called her that, so Dean guessed it was her real name.

 

She talked to Dean, tried to make him talk. But Dean didn’t want to talk to her. Because she would leave, sooner or later.

 

Everyone left him.

 

And yet…

 

The woman stayed. She even said she quit her job to stay longer with Dean.

 

And Dean dared to hope that maybe, just maybe, Raphael was not leaving.

 


	3. Homeschooling (Or Raphael needs to brush up their "people skills")

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Raphael is still trying to give Dean a somewhat normal life experience, Loki is not fooling Thor, and Dean is in for a shock.

One of Father’s first rules once the Humans were created was “do not smite the humans”. Said rule had to be repeated often before Lucifer’s punishment and once in a while before the Flood. Raphael had never, in the long eternity they had been alive, felt the need to break it.

Ten minutes with Dean’s teacher were more than enough for them to consider calling Uriel to purify the town. Or show themselves in all their glory for the Teacher’s eyes to be burnt as he was sent to his final rest. At this point, they weren’t sure he wasn’t a particularly well-hidden demon.

“Mrs. Winchester, I understand your desire to protect your… son,” At this, Raphael raised an eyebrow. They were aware of the difficulties that some human had to accept mixed families, but the contempt from the teacher was practically tangible. For the first time he considered that maybe Loki had been right about changing their cover story, but Raphael refused to take the Winchester name away from the Righteous Boy. It was his Legacy. “But we don’t have the resources to help someone with such a noticeable learning disability.”

“Dean does not have a learning disability,” Raphael repeated for the fourth time since the meeting had started. Half their mind was reciting the known human numbers in twenty languages, just to keep themselves calm. “He suffered a traumatic event, and thus is non-verbal, but that doesn’t affect his learning ability.”

And here came the sigh again, that small expression that made Raphael’s invisible wings flare. Not far from the school, a transformer exploded, and Raphael started counting in twenty one languages.

“Ma’am, I will be frank. Whatever you think about your son’s intelligence, he is not that smart. Even non-verbal children know how to write, and Dean even refuses to take a pencil… We believe he’d be better suited in a special needs school.”

Had Raphael been alone at the meeting, they might have had a chance to control their impulses. But when the teacher said Dean wasn’t smart, Dean flinched. It was a small thing, almost invisible. Raphael was sure that the Legacy would’ve never noticed, that the teachers didn’t notice. But they, the Archangel of Healing, did. And it broke their heart, making them want to weep.

“Shut up, you stupid little man,” Raphael themselves was surprised when they raised their voice. They had never raised their voice to a mortal. “I am tired of hearing you blaming Dean for your institution short-comings! I will be taking him off this school, and find a new one that will see his potential.”

“With all due respect, ma’am,” the teacher said, in a tone that indicated that he was feeling none. “You won’t find one in this county. Anyone can see that your child will never amount to much.”

The man couldn’t continue. Raphael had slapped him, hard. Dean was watching, amazed. Even Raphael couldn’t understand their actions. They had never been so reckless.

“If no school will take the time to teach Dean, then I will do it myself, “ Raphael declared. “I can assure you, I am far more capable than any teacher that you could hire.”

* * *

Loki gaped when he saw Raphael, always prim and proper in the female vessel they inhabited, enter the house carrying three bags full of books, followed by a very awed Dean.

Four months had passed since the Archangel had surprised everyone by quitting their position in the Host to take care of the Righteous Boy and every time Loki thought he had the Archangel’s plan figured out, they went and surprised him.

After figuring out that the Legacy was not coming back and so off the grid that not even the pagans and the host together could find him, Raphael had taken the name arguing that Dean deserved some normality instead of being forced to accept a new surname just because his sire was an idiot. Raphael had actually used the word idiot, and then preceded to rant in latin about the Legacy, so that Dean wouldn’t understand. Then they had gotten money, actual human money, in order to keep Dean fed and safe. Raphael had learned to cook and now Dean had healthy food, three times a day. They had even enrolled the boy in a nearby school and Loki knew that Raphael was looking for mental health professionals who also knew about the Supernatural.

It was as if Raphael was a completely different Archangel than the one Loki remembered from… before.

Which was exactly why Loki felt he couldn’t trust Raphael. The Archangel had to have a hidden agenda.

(Thor thought Loki was being paranoid. But then again, Thor’s idea of a solution was to sit down with Raphael for a beer and tell Raphael everything. And that would happen when Odin accepted that Ragnarok was not happening or when Lucifer took winter sports as a hobby)

“Did you decided to open a bookstore?” he asked, watching as Dean went up to his room after waving. Still not talking, but at least communicating a bit.

“These are the books that are considered to be helpful for teaching a child Dean’s age. From today on, I will be his teacher.” Raphael said, in their usual casual tone. As if they weren’t breaking Loki’s worldview little by little.

“I’m sorry, what?” Loki frowned; waving enough power to make sure Dean wouldn’t hear him. “What do you know about teaching human children?!”

“He wasn’t getting a good education at the school. They called him stupid. That is not good for his developing self-esteem,” Raphael replied, as he looked at the science book that he was unpacking. “If he stays in that system, not only he will grow up thinking he’s nothing but dumb muscle, there’s a chance he won’t regain his voice.”

“You’re serious,” Loki groaned as the Archangel nodded. “Look, Pigeon. I know that if anyone comes sniffing, you probably will have enough paperwork to prove that you are the best teacher this side of Miss Frizzle, but you don’t know anything about human children. And maybe it just escaped your grace filled head, but part of the reason you took him from his father was so that he would have a normal childhood. Being homeschooled won’t give him that!”

“ I don’t know any human named Frizzle,” Raphael replied. “And he will still have chances to socialize once he’s verbal again. All the books on selective mutism explain that it is better to let the child find confidence to speak, rather than try to force him as they would in the American school system.”

“You’re serious,” Loki laughed. “I just… What is your agenda, Raphael? Why are you doing this?!”

The question seemed to confuse the archangel, as they didn’t answer immediately. Was it because they didn’t know the answer, or because they were considering what Loki would like to hear? Loki wasn’t sure anymore.

  
“Because no matter what his fate is, Dean deserves a better childhood than the one he was getting. There was no need for his mother to die, or his father to neglect him,” Raphael finally said. “And while I can’t go back and fix that mistake, I can do everything in my power to give Dean some happiness before he has to face Father’s will.”

* * *

Dean knew he wasn’t smart. His teachers always said that, and his father had seemed to share their opinion. However, he wasn’t completely dumb. He knew, for example, that his father had been right about what killed his mother. He had seen his mother pinned on the ceiling, and the yellow eyed man in the flames before John came running in. And his father had taken him to a couple of simple ghost hunts, when he still trusted babysitters with Sammy.

Supernatural things were real, and they hurt people.

Dean was sure that Miss Raphael wouldn’t laugh at him if she knew that he believed in supernatural things. As crazy as it seemed, Miss Raphael actually took the time to understand Dean, even if he didn’t talk and sometimes she acted weird. Like, she never corrected people when they called her Mrs. Winchester. Dean himself had stopped wincing when he heard that because she… stayed. She defended him.

Sometimes, Dean actually wanted to believe that she cared for him and was not just waiting for John to come back. But he knew why John wasn’t coming back. Dean had to prove that he was able to protect Sammy. That had been why they had been alone the day Miss Raphael took him. John had said he had to learn how to fight ghosts.

So he kept an eye on the news. Miss Raphael seemed to like it when Dean watched the news instead of Saturday cartoons. And while Dean was only six… he knew he could do what his dad taught him.

He had to prove he could hunt ghosts, so he could go back to Dad and Sammy.

* * *

The thing that Raphael liked the most of their newfound freedom from the host was the silence. As the archangel in charge, they heard every angel in the host at all times. Petitions, prayers, questions, and the occasional cherub gossip that Raphael absolutely didn’t care about. Oh, and Zachariah. Always asking about the Plan. The Prophecy. The Bloodlines, the Seals, the Cage. If Raphael didn’t know better, they’d think Zachariah was a demon. At certain times, the Healer was convinced that Zachariah was more eager to start the Apocalypse than Lucifer himself. And Lucifer was the one in the cage.

On Earth, there was nothing that would intrude in their mind. While Loki was around very often –far too often for Raphael’s liking-, the pagan always respected Raphael’s privacy and never tried to contact them mentally. In fact, he had insisted that Raphael got a “cellphone” so that Loki could call in advance. Raphael didn’t like the device, but had accepted it after Loki pointed out that he could also be contacted in case they needed someone to take care of Dean during an emergency.

Raphael never peeked into Dean’s mind, respecting the boy’s desire for privacy. Sometimes it was hard, when Dean was thinking about them, praying without realizing it. That gave Raphael hope, Dean had finally started praying in words and not in images, which meant that he was starting to wish to communicate even if he still didn’t speak.

Raphael could be patient.

Of course, that left them with a lot of free time. Raphael had never had any free time before and now, they didn’t know what to do with it. First they had read, but there was a limited number of child raising books and some contradicted each other –they would never raise a hand against Dean. The suggestion that locking him in a closet until he spoke was stupid.

So, Raphael was bored and tried to find something to do when not teaching Dean to write and read. It seemed that all the mothers from the homeschooling community in town watched morning shows, so that’s where they started.

It had taken Raphael five minutes of one show to decide that it was inane and stupid. But while they wouldn’t spend all the time watching those absurd stories, they were a bit curious about if Conchita would realize that the mute gardener her family had hired was in fact her half-brother from the affair her mother had had with the old stableboy. And so, they kept watching the soap and it took them a while to realize that the house was too silent.

Dean was gone.

Fear wasn’t enough to describe what Raphael felt in the moment they realized that the Righteous Man was not inside the house, or the protective barrier Loki had erected. Extending their lighting wings, Raphael left, ready to fight whatever had taken his boy out of the house.

* * *

Thor was an idiot.

Loki had been visiting his brother, since they had a tradition of drinking together until one of them blacked out at least once a month. Loki liked Thor, despite rumors to the contrary. The big lug was smarter than most pagans, and for a god of thunder, he had a surprisingly cool temper. So Loki had been in the middle of telling (again) the story about Raphael and the pancakes, and how much they had laughed when they saw that Dean drew protection sigils with the maple syrup, when Thor interrupted.

“You like those two so much… why don’t you move in with them?”

“You know why,” Loki had glared at his brother, sobering up quite quickly.

“So? Tell the pigeon the truth. It’s obvious no one is hunting you anymore.” Thor shrugged, and then, as he was in his 400 tequila shot, he passed out.

Usually Loki stayed with Thor until he woke up, and then bragged about how he could hold his liquor better. But this time he was really mad at the thunder god, so he just left him. He needed some time alone, or maybe with a couple of constructs. In any case, there were enough idiots at the college he was hiding at, so he could just punish a few humans just to get his anger at Thor out of his system.

Maybe, if he were lucky, his Trickster’s m.o. would bring him John Winchester. That was a man who deserved some karmic justice.

He was just halfway there when he felt a spike of panic pass through him. Sheer panic, followed by a constant buzzing sound and a vibration near his heart. It was so shocking that it took him a while to realize that the sound and vibration where the cellphone that he had gotten to keep in touch with Raphael.

“What is…?”

“Dean has disappeared! I need help to find him!” Raphael’s panic was palpable through the line, and it made Loki forget all about his secrets and anger.

“I’ll be right there,” he said, and hung up the phone as he changed directions towards the town where Raphael and Dean lived.

Nothing could’ve prepared to what he saw when he arrived to Raphael’s location.

* * *

Miss Raphael had come looking for him. Dean still couldn’t figure how she had found him, nor why she seemed worried for him.

Dean had been in the cellar of the haunted house, where he thought the ghost would be. He remembered his father’s teachings. He could beat a small ghost, and then John would come back for him. But the ghost was hiding and then the doors of the cellar blew open.

“Dean?! Are you here?”

Miss Raphael had seen him immediately, and had ran to him, even in high heels. She had been pale, scared. It took a moment for Dean to realize that she was scared FOR him.

“Dean… why are you here? What happened? Did someone hurt you?”  
She kept asking questions, touching him, checking on him, and it was when it dawned on Dean that she was worried. Not because Dean had made a mistake, or had forgotten to keep watch on something.

She was worried, because she hadn’t known where Dean was. He should’ve left her a note, but he couldn’t write yet. He had made her worry. Before he could step away from her, try to make things better; he caught some movement by the corner of his eye, as something seemed to be forming right behind them.

“Miss Raphael! Look out!”

The words came very easily to him, so easily, that it was as if he had never stopped speaking. But it was because it was the only way to warn Miss Raphael of the ghost that had appeared with a knife. None of the things Dean had heard about the ghost ever mentioned a knife. And if Miss Raphael got hurt because of him…

Dean’s complete train of thought de-railed when Miss Raphael quickly turned around and…

Lighting came down crashing into the ghost. It didn’t stood a chance at the energy, even when electricity wasn’t supposed to hurt ghosts. But this was not normal lighting, and Dean knew because now Miss Raphael’s eyes were shining blue.

Miss Raphael wasn’t human.

And yet… she worried about Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I took a bit writing this because I wasn't sure if a 6 year old would do something as stupid as what Dean did right now. Then I had to babysit my 5 year old niece and her best friend and realized... Dean is maybe the best behaved 6 year old ever.
> 
> I'll try to write a bit faster, because I am dying to write how Dean reacts to everything now. Especially now that he talks.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a one shot.
> 
> It was also supposed to be a comedy. 
> 
> I am unable to write either, it seems. 
> 
> I'm not abandoning Secret Family, Secret Weapon (In fact, I am in the middle of the next chapter) but this one came from my need of seeing more genderqueer Raphael, more Loki!Gabriel, and... well, being not very happy with Sam at this point in the series (Season 12, in case you're wondering or read this after 2017). It will be updated slowly. 
> 
> As with all my fics, it MAY become slashy further on -still haven't decided but the possibility exists, and it may not only be a Dean pairing what ends up here. Another warning is that, even if I am not sure right now, I MAY make Sam the villian. Still haven't decided that either. 
> 
> And well, hope you enjoy it :) I sure enjoyed writing it.


End file.
